As we drove away from a series of four doctor appointments—all in one week—my mind was flooded with thoughts. Although I was emotionally spent, I also felt deeply satisfied. I just couldn’t believe it. This was something that had seemed like it would never come: good news!
But now I had a new and unexpected feeling brewing in my heart: guilt.
Many of you know that our family has faced years of health challenges with our daughter, Taylor. In July, she was finally able to have surgery to repair her severely damaged shoulder.
Her recovery is progressing well. So why the guilt?
Part of it is because I have dear friends around me who are not receiving good news. One friend is learning to live without her husband, who went to be with Jesus last Christmas Eve. Another is facing the unknowns of brain cancer. Still another is in the grip of mental illness.
These women are dear to me, and they are suffering. I find it difficult to rejoice in my own good news while watching them walk through such painful circumstances. My heart is heavy for them. At times, I even feel as though I have somehow betrayed my fellow members of the suffering club.
Perhaps you have felt the same way.
So, before I share the rest of our good news, I want to share a few thoughts as I work through this struggle myself.
First, press on.
I am so thankful for the treasures I have found in the dark places of suffering (Isaiah 45:3). Suffering is part of our sanctification, and there is no question that we will face it until we see Jesus face to face.
So, if you find yourself in a season of reprieve, love and give out of a grateful heart. And continue to stay connected to your fellow sufferers.
The walk of faith is a little like a hospital, where the doctors are patients and the patients are doctors. We press on, playing whatever part God has given us.
“God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.”
Those are the words Taylor quoted from the movie God’s Not Dead as the nurse rolled her out of the O.R. after her surgery. It was a rough time. She was sick from the anesthesia and wrapped in bandages that made her look like a football player.
Those words were true then, and they are just as true now as she is recovering and feeling so much better.
Second, don’t allow yourself to become the victim.
It can feel easier to remain in the shadow of hard times, continually looking for ways that things still aren’t right. I have been tempted to do this myself.
But victimhood is not a healthy place to stay. When we settle there, we lose our saltiness. Our hearts can become hard and less pliable.
I think of it like making a pie. One of the most important parts is the crust. There is a delicate balance in mixing the ingredients and working them together to create the light, flaky crust that pie lovers dream about. (Trust me on this one. I am married to one such pie lover!)
But if you knead the dough just a little too long, it becomes stiff, falls apart, and generally frustrates the baker. Yes, I am speaking from experience!
In the same way, we need to make sure our hearts remain pliable and fresh. We can only do this when we remember the gospel and stay grounded in our identity in Christ—no matter what our circumstances look like, whether they are good or bad.
With all of that said, I am going to step out in faith and share the rest of our very good news, hoping that you will rejoice with us. We are humbled and grateful to share it.
Last week, I took Taylor to her annual eye appointment to check on the cataract she has had since birth. The main purpose of this yearly exam is to make sure the cataract does not grow larger.
This year, as in previous years, the cataract remained the same size. But Taylor completely baffled the doctor by having her best eye exam yet. She could see better out of that eye than she ever has in her entire life!
There is no rhyme or reason for it, other than the mercy of God.
Also last week, we saw the orthopedic surgeon who performed Taylor’s shoulder surgery. Everything looked good, and she will begin physical therapy in September.
Taylor asked the doctor what she would not be able to do once she was fully healed. His answer was astounding:
“Nothing! I expect you to make a full recovery and be able to do everything.”
Finally, today we met with her neurologist for a follow-up appointment. Everything is going well with her medication. He told us that going five months without a seizure is a good sign. He even said that Taylor may eventually be healed enough to come off her medication altogether!
I am in awe of God’s goodness.
Thank you for praying for Taylor and for our family. We are so grateful for each one of you who has walked with us through the hard places. And now, we invite you to rejoice with us in this season of good news.
God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.
