Have you seen the famous optical illusion of the old woman and the young woman?
Look at it one way and you see an elderly woman looking down. Look at it another way and you see the profile of a young woman looking away. The same image can reveal two completely different pictures depending on your perspective.
That illustration provides a helpful analogy for one of the most important truths our children need to learn: how to view life—especially difficult circumstances—from God’s perspective.
(Be sure to download the printable PDF at the end of this article to use with your children.)
Our Children Need a Change of Perspective
As parents, we are familiar with the long conversations that often arise when a child is struggling with a difficult circumstance.
Sometimes those circumstances are self-inflicted. Perhaps they waited until the last minute to complete a school assignment, posted something online that backfired, or made poor financial choices and are now facing the consequences.
Other circumstances are beyond their control. They may have a sibling who continually pushes their buttons, feel frustrated because they do not have a car to drive, or struggle with a chronic health condition.
Whatever the source, difficult circumstances usually bring emotional pain. As parents, our natural instinct is often to remove that pain as quickly as possible.
But how do we help our children see what is happening through God’s eyes?
As a father, my first instinct is usually to solve the problem by immediately telling my children what they should do. While that response may sometimes be appropriate, it often falls short because it overlooks what God may be accomplishing through the situation itself.
The perspective that asks, “Okay, God, what are You doing here?” deserves a place in all of our conversations with our children, especially during life’s challenges.
Two Truths That Help Change Perspective
When our children are struggling to reconcile how they think life should be with the circumstances they are facing, two truths can help them view their situation differently.
1. Growth Often Happens in Difficulty, Not Comfort
We may not grow very much when everything is going well.
In fact, when life feels easy, it may simply mean that the things we desire most are currently working out in our favor. At other times, God may graciously provide a season of rest and blessing.
Either way, those seasons rarely last forever.
Sooner or later, adversity returns. A daughter breaks a nail. A son is told to clean his room. Or a much more significant hardship enters the picture. Before long, emotions begin to rise again.
These moments reveal what we truly believe about God. More importantly, they create opportunities for spiritual growth—if we are willing to see them that way.
2. God Often Uses Suffering to Shape Us
Discomfort, emotional distress, and even physical suffering are often the tools God uses to help us become more like Christ.
Personally, I wish there were another way. Yet Scripture repeatedly shows that God uses adversity to accomplish His purposes in our lives.
Consider Jonah.
In one sense, Jonah’s circumstances were the result of his own sinful choices. In another sense, they were clearly orchestrated by God in response to his rebellion. Scripture tells us that God appointed the great fish that swallowed him.
Of course, this does not mean every difficult circumstance is God’s discipline for a specific sin. It isn’t.
Even in Jonah’s story, we see God’s mercy. We also see how God worked through one man’s failures as part of a much larger redemptive plan. That reality deepens our awe of God’s wisdom and power and draws us to love Him more.
It does not take much imagination to appreciate how difficult Jonah’s experience must have been. Yet God was with him in the midst of it. Through those hardships, God accomplished a profound work in Jonah’s heart and ultimately used him in a powerful way.
God Is Working Through Our Circumstances for Good
Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
But we should not stop at verse 28.
Verse 29 tells us what that purpose is: God is conforming us to the image of His Son.
As we help our children navigate difficult circumstances, we should encourage them to look for what God may be teaching them through those experiences.
We can ask questions such as:
- What is this situation teaching you about yourself?
- Is God exposing a sinful attitude or desire?
- How is God demonstrating His faithfulness?
- Are your conclusions based on what God says is true, or on a lie you are tempted to believe?
While we often cannot control what happens to us, we can control how we respond.
What happens to us does not have to define us.
Instead, we can rest in the confidence that God is sovereign. He is actively at work, using even the circumstances we would never choose to accomplish good purposes in our lives.
This truth does not excuse wrongdoing or minimize real suffering. Nor does it remove the pain our children may experience.
What it does provide is hope.
When our children learn to view their circumstances from God’s perspective, they gain confidence that He is at work. They can move forward with assurance that God is using even their difficulties for His glory, their growth, and their ultimate joy.
Please download this PDF guide to help you work through circumstances with your children!
